I was in a bad mood when I posted last nite … that’s obvious. I thought about deleting the post, but decided not to. It was what I was feeling at the time. And I still feel that way … but not as extreme. And I’m not going to stop blogging.

At least one good thing did happen today. In my mail today was a letter from the FM RedHawks. I figured it had something to do with the contest they’re running with CashWise (the grocery store closest to me). They’re giving away tickets to the Pepsi 400 at Daytona in July. Of course, I had to register every time I went in. I thought I won a tshirt or something small like that. Well … turns out I’m in the running for the trip …

There were 2 tickets to the RedHawks game next Friday (24 June) nite. And 2 coupons for a free small Pepsi. I guess they’ll be drawing names at random from those who won and are at the game (you have to be at the game to win the race tickets). They’ll be drawing 9 names. I’d give ANYTHING to at least be one of the finalists. You don’t know how much I’d love to win those tickets. I wanna go to a race. And at Daytona … what race fan wouldn’t want to go there? I’m sure Lisa wants me to win too ‘cuz she knows she’ll be the one I take with me … unless I can find me a hot cowboy who wants to go …

Mood: hopeful

I don’t think I’m going to be blogging for quite some time. After tonite … I feel so fucking alone. The people who I thought were my friends obviously don’t give a damn about me. They think that I walked away from them (at least that’s what Mona said in the text message that she sent me in response to the ones I sent her). They have no fucking clue how I really feel. They didn’t even try to talk to me tonite to see what was wrong. I feel like such a fucking loser right now. I’m just done trying. No matter what I do … I can’t do anything right. Obviously I don’t know how to be a friend. If I did … I wouldn’t be so alone. I just wish I knew what was wrong with me. At this point … I just give up.

Mood: empty